Engagement Party

Sigh* 'Another one hits the dust' was what Gaz's friends must have been thinking yesterday when we met in the front of a house all decorated for a grand party. One of Gaz's buddies was getting ready for his engagement party. This is the first time I've seen him in something other than a basketball jersey! He was well groomed today, Brylcreamed hair, smart black suit complete with a red rose buttonhole, shiny black shoes. Very smart.

In the Vietnamese culture, the engagement was a bigger deal than the wedding itself. An auspicious day is carefully chosen to present the dowry to the girl's family which includes a whole roast pig, jewellery, wine, tea, fruits, cakes and biscuits. Unlike the 'goh tai lai' ceremony Chinese have, the elders from both families are present in the Vietnamese version.



The family and friends from the groom to be's side walked in file towards the entrance of the house, where we were greeted at the door by the elders of the family. We were then shown into a room in the house where the emcee started his speech about who has arrived from the man's family - parents, siblings, aunties etc, and what they have brought with them. The woman's family present were then introduced, and welcomed the man's family into the house. The gifts brought were accepted. In all of this, the bride to be was absent. She was only fetched by her mother after the initial introductions. On her arrival, she was handed a bouquet of yellow roses by her fiance. Yellow and red must be auspicious colours because it seems like everyone in the party had something yellow or red on.

Jewellery which were brought over were put on her, then champagne poured for the elders in the family and the bride and groom to be took turns presenting the drinks to them. The heads of the two households gave a speech - very impressive.



With the formalities done, we headed for lunch in another part of the house (it's a big house; easily accommodating 60 of us). Lunch was a very lavish affair! It was a catered ocassion and was just like a mini Chinese wedding banquet! There were fish maw soup, half a lobster baked with cheese and bacon bits, roast quails, crispy roast pork (brought over by the man's family), crab ball and glutinous rice. And lots of alcohol - beer, spirits littered the long tables were were seated.

This ceremony is definitely more formal than the Chinese goh tai lai ceremony. There is a clear invitation and acceptance of the other family to be part of the one family from the engagement onwards. In all, it was an interesting experience for me.